By : Gabriella Marcinowski, LCSW
Wife of Police Officer
February is a month filled with love, dating, proposals, & so many romantic gestures. We look forward to finding the person who we want to spend the rest of our life with and get to celebrate this month full of love. Well:
What if this person you fall in love with is a police officer?
Being a wife of a police officer has taught me about the importance of recognizing the unique demand of the job, including irregular hours, emotional stress, and the constant risk that comes with law enforcement, and how this can impact relationships in profound ways. However, with love and trust, it is possible to cultivate a resilient and loving marriage. In this blog post, I want to share my insights on how I have maintained a strong and healthy marriage as a police officer’s wife and to show the importance of nurturing your relationship amidst life’s challenges.
The Importance of Recognizing the Strains
Being married to a police officer has come with challenges that I have come to recognize over the years.
Work-Related Risks: The job is dangerous and causes anxiety, leading to worries about the safety of my spouse.
Irregular Hours: The unpredictable schedules cause a disruption in quality time together. For some, this causes difficulty with routine and responsibilities for their children.
Emotional Stress: Police officers experience trauma and stress that can affect their overall mood when getting home.
The Public: police face criticism that affects their self-esteem and emotional state.
These are just some of the strains that are seen within a marriage with a police officer. However, this post is not to discuss the strains, but to discuss;
HOW TO MAINTAIN A STRONG AND HEALTHY MARRIAGE
OPEN COMMUNICATION
I cannot express enough how important this is in a healthy marriage. You have to be willing to express your feelings and to let your partner do the same. Communication is not only about talking, but understanding the other’s point and view and respecting it. I encourage you all to set time aside each week with your spouse or partner to talk about your feelings, fears, and family experience in order to create a safe space for each other.
SCHEDULE QUALITY TIME TOGETHER
This does not mean that you have to go out and spend a lot of money on a nice dinner. I encourage everyone to come up with creative ideas for a date night at home. Prioritizing quality time with just you and your spouse is going to turn into something you look forward to every week.
SUPPORT EACH OTHER
In my life as a wife of a police officer, I feel this step is one of the most important. I hope that everyone who reads this comes to realize that this step is extremely important in their marriage as well because in any marriage, support is crucial. Being a great support system for your spouse includes providing empathy regarding the stress that your partner faces at work or with other aspects in their life.
TRUST
You have to not only trust your partner, but trust that you will both do everything you can to fight for your marriage. Reassure your partner that you are present and going to do everything you can for one another.
SEEK SUPPORT IF NEEDED
When you find yourself thinking that your marriage needs some support, reach out to schedule with a therapist. You are not alone. Marriages can come with highs and lows, but it does deserve the effort from both partners to seek the support that is needed.
It is important to know that maintaining a strong relationship takes effort, but is worth it. I encourage everyone to be proactive in celebrating the love that they have with their spouse and to share your thoughts on how to maintain a healthy marriage.
Book Recommendations:
Proud Police Wife, 90 Devotions for the Women Behind the Badge
Hold the Line: The Essential Guide to Protecting Your Law
Unshakeable: A Hope-Filled Devotional For Police Wives Facing An Anti-Cop World
Police Wife Coloring Book: Things Only Someone Married To A Police Officer Would Understand
Hi Gabby!
This is a great post that offers insight to the several dynamics that arise when being married to a police officer. While I personally am not married to a police officer, I grew up having a father as a police officer. My father has been a police officer for 30 years now and throughout the years, I have definitely seen some of the ways that my parents have addressed some of the topics listed above. I have witnessed the strain that long shifts, emotional tolls, and unpredictable schedules had on my parents' relationship. It's not just about supporting my dad through his work, but also recognizing the importance of giving my mom the space to maintain her own…